One of the burning questions I had as a younger and less experienced writer was “How much are you supposed to change between drafts?”

Along with that question came the fear of changing too much, or not changing enough, or not knowing what to change, and all the hard work that came with said changes. With a little more experience and time, I discovered that I did not need to worry. The more I learned about how stories worked, and what made a good one, the more ideas for improvements in my own writing became obvious and felt natural.

That said, at the time I longed to see examples of other writers’ work and how their books changed throughout the process. So, if you relate to Younger Me, or if you’ve ever wondered what a writer’s process looks like, this post is for you. Today I’m going to go through the drafts of my book The Balter of Ashton Harper and talk about how the opening chapter changed throughout the process.

Let’s start with–

Draft 1: The infamously messy version

Sunlight streamed through Ashton Harper’s study window. His cheek was resting against the page of the Latin grammar he was supposed to be reading, his gaze fixed on a trilling songbird in a tree beside the tower, although he wasn’t remotely interested in it. Or in his studies, or in anything else that afternoon.

The ivy wreathed stones of the gray tower were warm, dust floated in the air, reflected in the light from the four tall arcing windows that peered in on the circular room. A cold spring breeze nipped in from the window Ashton had opened, mussing his mess of blond hair. He closed his eyes.

No one was going to bother him for a good long while, and he was thoroughly enjoying himself doing absolutely nothing.

The lazy tranquility was interrupted however, by a peal of bell-like laughter from down at the front gate.

If Ashton Harper had not already been slumped on the desk in a state of fierce relaxation, he would have banged his head against the book on which he lay. As it was he had to resort to an incredulous sigh and open his eyes to glare at the previously chirping robin, who was now starring in mild alarm down at the Thing which had descended upon this lazy afternoon.

Here came the unstoppable whirlwind that would shake him to his roots and attempt to make him (horror of all horrors) participate in society.

The front door opened with a crash, and a noise of surprise and fright came from downstairs.

“Oh dear! I am terribly sorry Oliver!” Came a loud, earnest, and ridiculously cheerful voice that Ashton knew all too well. “I didn’t mean to frighten you!”

Then came the wispy, slow voice of Oliver himself, which, as the tower had annoyingly good acoustics, Ashton could hear clearly despite it’s soft tone.

“No trouble child. He’s upstairs studying I believe.”

There was a snort of laughter and the sound of footsteps echoing on the spiral stone staircase.

“Not if I know Ashton E. Harper, which I do, whatever he may attempt to deny.” The voice reached the doorway of Ashton’s room and bounded through it in the form of rosy cheeked, twinkling-eyed girl. “Oh no, Ashton will be practising his true and marvellous talent; procrastinating.”

I wrote this before I had really figured out what the story was about. In fact, pretty much the only things I kept from this rendition were Ashton and Zizi, and even their characters shifted a bit as I got to know them better.

Originally, The Balter of Ashton Harper was not historical fantasy, it was just fantasy-fantasy. Originally, Tabby was a POV character as well as Ashton. Originally, Ashton was Oliver’s apprentice and the tower was close to Ashton and Zizi’s hometown.

Originally, I considered setting this book in the same world as my other book, Beyond Mulberry Glen. Not because I actually wanted to further explore the world, but because I was afraid. I was afraid I would never write a book as good as Beyond Mulberry Glen again, and so I felt as though I had to continue to attach my writing to it.

Take it from me, it’s never a good idea to create art from a place of fear.

The Balter of Ashton Harper needed to be its own story set in its own world, and once I figured that out, the process went a lot smoother. However, my lack of confidence in my creativity held me back for almost six months as I tried to make this story fit into something it was not, something I thought would sell better.

I never ended up finishing this original draft. Instead, I set it aside and tried project after project for another few months. None of them really worked, because I was still creating from a place of fear. Yet Ashton and Zizi and their vibrant personalities stuck with me. I was still coming up with snippets of dialogue for them in my head.

But was it really worth writing their story if I didn’t think it had a chance to succeed? Is it worth writing if you never publish? Are dreams worth dreaming if they don’t come true?

That was the moment. That was the question.

As soon as that single question came into my head, pieces of The Balter of Ashton Harper at last began to fall into place. I had a theme to explore, and because of that, and because I allowed myself to let the story be what it wanted instead of fighting it, everything else slowly became clear.

I started over and wrote a new draft, with the question “Are dreams worth dreaming if they don’t come true?” as my compass, and Ashton and Zizi as my north star.

The next draft may look a little more familiar to readers.

Draft 2: The “I think I know what I’m doing” version

Ashton Edward Harper had three problems and two of them were his sisters.

Zizi, the first and youngest problem, had not left him alone all day. Ever since he had  come home from the wood shop with his father she had stuck to him like blackberry jam to bread. Even now, as he twirled his ink pen, trying to figure out the proper conjugations of Latin verbs, she sat across the room glaring at him. 

“If I die of disappointment, you will be the culprit Ashton Harper.” She was sitting on the parlor sofa, both her arms crossed defiantly over her chest. 

“How tragic.” Ashton replied without looking up. 

“It will be. Terribly tragic. A girl of eleven perished of disappointment at the hand of her cruel, tyrannical, barbarous brother!” 

“And the brother perished soon after of the lingering effects of his sesquipedalian sister.” 

Zizi looked torn between keeping up her barrage of arguments, and learning the meaning of a new word. At last she gave in, as her brother knew she would. 

“What’s sesquipedalian?”

Ashton set down his pen and turned about to look at her. “A long winded, annoying person who uses unnecessarily big words to sound impressive.”

The first line never changed after this draft! It was just too good! Fun fact: It’s actually inspired by a line my friend from homeschool co-op used in an essay about an ancient astronomer. In his essay, he wrote that the astronomer; “had three laws of planetary motion and two children.”

Notice that something else improved in this version as well, outside of plot concept–conflict. Zizi’s first line “If I die of disappointment, you will be the culprit Ashton Harper.” immediately brings the characters into an interesting and meaningful conflict that leads us to learn more about them. This is a contrast to the first draft, in which the first few paragraphs are just Ashton lying around, literally doing nothing.

Now we have an active goal, and an active conflict, right from the start!

Also, something you’ll notice across all these drafts is that I use far more showing and less telling with each successive version.

The book was now set firmly in the regency era, and centered around the Harper children. Although later chapters continued to change a lot, the concept of the opening stayed relatively the same after this, shifting only in wording.

Draft 3: The personal changes version

Ashton Edward Harper had three problems and two of them were his sisters.

Zizi, the first and youngest problem, had not left him alone all day. Ever since he had come home from the wood shop with their father she had stuck to him like a thorn bush. Or like blackberry jam. 

Whichever it was, Ashton had to resort to actually _finishing_ the copywork his mother had assigned him just to get away from her, and even that didn’t last long. 

“If I die of disappointment, you will be the culprit Ashton Harper.” Zizi fell dramatically onto the parlor sofa beside the writing desk. 

“How tragic.” Ashton replied without looking up. 

“It will be. Terribly tragic. A girl of eleven perished of disappointment at the hand of her cruel, tyrannical, barbarous brother!” Zizi’s pale hand flew up to her forehead and she exhaled a tragic gasp like that of a theater lady. 

“And the brother perished soon after due to an overexposure of drama.” Ashton set down his fountain pen to rest his cramping hand and gave his sister a deadpan look over the top of the writing desk.

Latin, (which Ashton was busy with in draft two) felt both too similar to Beyond Mulberry Glen, and didn’t really tell us anything about the world or characters. I changed it to copywork in this draft as a pre-characterization of Mrs. Harper and her scribe work.

Zizi’s actions become even more dramatic in this draft, and I took out the ‘sesquipedalian’ bit, because, while interesting, it was distracting from the main thread of the story.

Draft 4: The beta reader feedback version

Ashton Edward Harper had three problems and two of them were his sisters. 

At the moment, he was attempting to ignore all three. This was rather difficult, as Zizi, the first and youngest problem, was sitting in the parlor with him, listening to him read aloud from “The Wishing Well Incident, and other fairytales”. 

“The Great Thinker muttered a word of magic, and the enchanted stone split in half.” Ashton read in a monotone, not thinking very hard about the words. He had read the story so many times. “Through a shower of silver light, the the young knight saw a broad path slipping through space, right up to the castle gate. A thousand league shortcut.” 

It was just after tea, which meant it was read aloud hour in the Harper household. Winter sunlight fell in a hazy glow through the sash window onto the spot where Ashton sat, tucked into a corner of the sofa. For once Ashton didn’t mind being assigned to read. It kept him from thinking about the The Other Problem (the one that was not a sister) and the uncertain, worried feeling in his stomach. It was the feeling he always got when he was supposed to make a decision. To be sure, Ashton didn’t even like deciding what to have for luncheon, and this was a rather larger problem than that.

Zizi had not been helping matters by pestering him about it all morning.

At least she’s being quiet now. Ashton thought, a moment to soon.

“If I die of disappointment, you will be the culprit Ashton Harper.” Zizi exclaimed suddenly, interrupting Ashton’s lack-luster reading. She fell dramatically backward onto the shabby parlor rug, where she had been sitting. 

“How tragic.” Ashton replied without looking up. “‘The Knight thanked the Old Thinker and -‘“ 

“It will be. Terribly tragic. A girl of eleven perished of disappointment at the hand of her cruel, tyrannical, barbarous brother!” Zizi’s pale hand flew up to her forehead and she exhaled a tragic gasp like that of a theater lady. 

“And the brother perished soon after due to an overexposure of drama.” Ashton snapped ‘The Wishing Well Incident’ shut and gave his sister a deadpan look. 

This draft was written after Beta Reader feedback, and one of the repeated critiques was that magic, as a concept, wasn’t introduced soon enough, which made it feel jarring later. I remedy this in draft 3, bringing it in right away.

I also spent more time on Ashton before we reached Zizi in this draft, establishing him and his fears and problems more sympathetically. He’s the character we’re following through the entire book, so the reader must care about him right away. Another problem that was brought to my attention by my lovely Beta Readers was that I wasn’t getting into Ashton’s head enough in previous drafts, which made him difficult to understand.

Draft 5 – The final published version

Ashton Edward Harper had three problems, and two of them were his sisters. 

At the moment, he was attempting to ignore all three. This was difficult, as Zizi, the first and youngest problem, was sitting in the parlor with him, listening to him read aloud from The Wishing Well Incident and Other Fairytales. 

“The Old Thinkers drew up a wall of bright green fire ’round the travelers, and the goblins scattered in all directions,” Ashton read in a monotone, his eyes skimming the page. “But the travelers themselves, and the forest greenery, were unharmed, for the fire was mere illusion.” 

Winter sunlight fell in a hazy glow through the sash window onto the sofa where Ashton sat. The parlor was the traditional reading spot for the three Harper siblings, and many a cozy afternoon had been spent there, sharing adventures together through storybook pages. Today, though, the three had been reduced to two. 

For once, Ashton was glad that he was chosen to read. Reading kept him from thinking about The Other Problem (the one that was not a sister) and the feeling like curdled milk in his stomach that he always felt when he was supposed to make a decision. To be sure, even deciding what to have for luncheon could be difficult, and this was a rather larger problem than that. 

Zizi had not been helping matters by pestering him about it all morning. “If I die of disappointment, you will be the culprit, Ashton Harper!” she exclaimed, interrupting Ashton’s lackluster reading. She fell dramatically backward onto the shabby parlor rug where she had been sitting. 

“How tragic.” Ashton flipped to the next page. Couldn’t she leave him alone for two minutes? “The Knight thanked the Old Thinker and—”

“It will be. Terribly tragic. A girl of eleven perished of disappointment at the hand of her cruel, tyrannical, barbarous brother!” Zizi’s pale hand flew up to her forehead, and she exhaled a sigh like that of a theater lady. 

“And the brother perished soon after due to an over-exposure of drama.” Ashton clapped shut The Wishing Well Incident and shot his sister a deadpan look. 

This draft was written with feedback from my publisher, Bandersnatch Books. They wanted me to establish the setting sooner, so the reader could really visualize the world and characters before we jumped straight into the conflict. The language all got tighter and more succinct, and I made a point of saying that the parlor rug was “shabby” to hint at the Harpers’ financial status. I changed the Old Thinker’s story to use magic that we actually see later in the book, instead of something random, to act as further foreshadowing.

And yes, indeed, despite all my worries earlier in the process, The Balter of Ashton Harper was, in fact, published. All because (rather ironically) I stopped stressing about getting it published, and instead focused on the joy of writing in and of itself.

Sound familiar? That might be because Ashton learns a similar lesson through the book. As they say; write what you know. And as I always say;

docendo disco, scribendo cogito,

Which is a Latin phrase that means, “I learn by teaching and think by writing.”

– Millie Florence